I Need Your Help, Please…

I don’t very often ask for help, but I think it is about time I took stock of some opinions and indeed, if possible, some help in the form of advice from you all.

This concerns the topic of the big M – money! I have come to the conclusion that I have never really come to grips with the reality of what money actually is and what it means in my life (and possibly in yours as well). So I gave up a perfectly good, and very well-paid, job in law to study to be a nurse, and to be honest, though nursing did not pay that well, it was never really about money – it was about doing what I felt I was borne to do.

When it comes to using my healing skills (and I accept they are not really mine, I merely act as a channel to the Energy that causes healing) – I felt reluctant to accept money for that, because it felt somehow wrong to accept money for something that I have always been able to do, and indeed, healing is something I enjoy doing.

Then I had the good fortune to meet a very good friend, who pointed out to me, that money is ‘just’ solidified energy, and that when someone pays me for healing, it is an energy exchange, freely entered into by two or more consenting adults. I can understand that idea, and I agree with it. I can also see that doing a job you like and getting paid well for it, is exactly how it should be – though I know that for lots of us that is not the reality of the situation.

Yet, money and scarcity mentality maintain a firm foothold in my life – and there does indeed never seem to be enough money. I do all the meditations, I affirm to myself that I attract money, I have taken another job, and if possible will take a second one any day now if it materializes.

One thing I will not do for money is lie. I have had a job for a short amount of time, where I was doing ok, not great, but ok, until I realized that what I was selling was ‘hot air’ and that if anyone ever approached someone I loved with the same product and sold it to them, I would be spitting feathers in anger that they had so betrayed the innocence of the person I love. Therefore, lying to make money is not something I ever want to do again!

So, now I have a new job. Making appointments for a sales rep to go and see a business. So, business to business calling is not illegal, not immoral, not anything bad at all – it is the way of the world, and the product my colleague in sales will maybe eventually sell, after I set up the appointment, is a real and useful product, that will make the company purchasing it a huge amount of savings in time and money. And still, I am unable to lose the ‘niceness’ (a euphemism for not being pushy enough). I am puzzled. So when someone is obviously interested in what I am trying to get them to look at, I somehow cannot find the right words to ‘close’ the appointment.

I no longer believe there is anything inherently ‘bad’ about money (though I do believe that the love of money above all else is indeed the root of a lot of evil in the world). I am doing a job that I actually really enjoy, with a great boss, but seem unable to do that ‘last little bit’ in pinning down my ‘prospect’. I am sure there are techniques and I shall learn them, but I still wonder whether below that reluctance to make that little extra push at the end there is a deeper issue with the big M.

No, I have no great wish to be super wealthy, it would not mean that much, I have already simplified my life to the point where I want it to be, I do not need a bigger house, a newer car, more clothes, or things. I just want enough to pay the bills easily, and have a bit to spare to spend on doing some good for others, whilst saving a bit for emergency situations – that would never constitute a fortune in the books of anyone I know personally.

I would be really interested in hearing from those of you that have similar problems, or solutions. Maybe you know of some meditations, or affirmations, or techniques that will remove what I believe is a real ‘prosperity block’ in my life, and I would be very happy to hear about it.

thebigM I Need Your Help, Please...

Carpe Diem – week beg 02.12.2013

150px RWS Tarot 21 World Carpe Diem   week beg 02.12.2013Get ready for an interesting and rewarding week. The energies are very much in our favour just now, so make the most of them.

What greets this week is the Sun (card 19). Unusually we have just had three days of rain here in Spain, and today was the first day that beautiful yellow globe of light was shining again, immediately causing renewed energy in a lot of us. The Sun speaks to us of warmth, positivity, vitality – optimism, the new dawn and insight. The Sun indicates that things are going to get (a whole lot) better, in fact they already are! It tells us there are celebrations ahead and opportunities will be presented to us, which we need to accept with eager anticipation. The Sun also counsels that there is a balance between the conscious and the subconscious. We will be inspired and new alliances are possible, that will open up new paths for us.

What meets the Sun is the High Priestess (card 2). This Lady is associated with the Moon, and is counselling us to listen to our inner voice/intuition. She sits in front of a veil/curtain, behind which is hidden the secret knowledge that we need to incorporate in order to complete. She is associated with dreams and symbols – an indication that we may want to be aware of what it is we are dreaming, because our dreams may reveal what we need to know in order to reach the next stage. She tells us that using pure intellect will NOT allow us access to the area ‘behind the curtain’. She may serve as a warning that all is not as it appears to be and that the hidden factors (behind the curtain), though we may not be aware of them, will nevertheless have a profound effect on us. Time for meditation, prayer, going within, and attempting to dream and remember/interpret the dreams. Time also to be aware of the symbolic nature of life and incorporate those symbols into our awareness.

Whereas the Sun is the masculine element, the Priestess clearly is the feminine. Whatever biological gender we are, these two cards together indicate that we will have to work on balancing our opposites within us.

The outcome (of the balance between Sun and Priestess) is The World (card 21). Note that the Priestess is card 2, and the Sun is card 19, which together adds up to 21. For those interested in numerology, there is significance here, though I am not confident enough (yet) to interpret it. The World card indicates the completion of a cycle – a victorious completion moreover. The Dancer in the card is the Fool, who set out innocently and through the trials of the Dance has become The World and victory. Efforts that have been made over the last few months are now paying off – see how much you have achieved over the last few months/weeks and how far you have danced (travelled). However, be aware, as always, that the completion of one phase or project, of necessity means the beginning of a new cycle and a new project. There is no pause in the Dance, it continues eternally.

So this week then we start on a positive Yes (the Sun). We need to go within and pay attention to our inner voice, dreams, symbols, balance the conscious and the subconscious, be aware of the influences of the subconscious on our lives and calculate that ‘knowledge’ (which is experiential rather than intellectual)into our practice and we shall be in a great position to achieve successful termination of one stage of life. Time to dance inside your laurels for a little while, and then confidently step once more into the Abyss (Fool) for the next new Dance.

Have a great week everyone.

The Consolation Of A Dream

I tend to dream a lot, and have a lot of notes written about dreams and pieces of dreams that I am still working with, sometimes years after I had the original dream.

One of my favourite dreams is one I had about 30 years ago, when I was living in a very noisy residence for nurses, attached to the Hospital I then worked in. It is a dream that I remember whenever things ‘get on top of me’ and I then revisit that dream, either during those minutes before going to sleep or sometimes during meditation.

I dreamt I was at the edge of a lake. The sun was shining brightly and I stood with bare feet on the hot sand. A man appeared who handed me a white robe, and said it was time. I slipped the robe over my head and walked into the water. He said I would be able to breathe underwater and I needed to swim until I found ‘it’. He did not actually tell me what ‘it’ was.

I dived into the cooling water, and swam ever deeper, with my eyes wide open. There were some odd things down in that lake. Old shopping trollies, bicycles, bottles – all sort of rubbish. Then I saw my grandmother, and I thought it was odd that she was in the lake, since she had been cremated and I could not figure out what she was doing there. She waved and smiled at me, and I kept on diving. I saw some other things – that are highly personal to me, and I don’t really want to write about, but I know that in that dream I started crying. Odd that you can cry, when you are covered in water, and yet the tears streamed in the water. Some of the things I saw scared me a lot and I started to panic. I heard the man’s voice telling me to keep going down, and not to worry about the scary things since they were not real – as I could work out if I tried to touch them and they were just my own thoughts.

After what seemed like an eternity, I was on the bottom of the lake, but still had not found ‘it’. The bottom of the lake was clean, there was no debris here, as though all the rubbish and ideas had been left behind, and here was just a white sand underwater beach. I noticed that there was a small ‘hill’ of sand in the distance and swam towards it. As I reached the hill I realized it was much bigger than I had thought, and there was a cave in one side of it. A sense of fear touched me, should I enter a dark underwater cave? I decided I would trust what the man had said, that nothing would harm me, and it was all my imagination, and entered the cave. The walls of the cave spiralled up and up as though I was inside a giant slug-house, and they were made of crystal. There was beautiful light everywhere, filtered with all the colours of the rainbow and some more I could not even describe, caused by the water outside the ‘windows’. In the centre of the room was a small white pillar and on it was a casket. A small casket. My curiosity led me towards the pillar and I looked closer at the casket. It was in the shape of a human heart. Suddenly a small key dangled in front of me, and I took the key and opened the little heart casket. Inside it was a pearl. I reached out my hand and closed it over the pearl. I was much bigger than any pearl I had ever seen and was reflecting all the rainbow light from the room. As I took the pearl in my hand, a sense of total knowing and love flooded me and I realized the pearl was mine. I sat down with the pearl in my hands. I felt as though I would want to spend the rest of my life sitting here, never coming back up to the surface again.

After a while, the man said it was time to come back up. I started to leave the cave, reluctantly, when he told me I would have to leave the pearl behind in the casket, but I could keep the key forever. A small golden necklace appeared and the key attached itself to the necklace and then fastened round my neck. I kissed the pearl and put it back in its little nest, crying because I did not want to leave it behind. The man said I did not need to cry, I could come back whenever I wanted and sit with the pearl and it would always be there waiting for me. He said I carried that pearl within me, and it was the core of who I was around which I had made my life.

When I got back up to the surface the man was gone, but the sun was still shining.

I visit this dream often, and each time it is slightly different, the debris changes, the monsters are not scary any more but the one constant that is always there is that large pearl, around which I was formed.

Do you have any dreams that feel like they were more than just a dream, dreams that almost feel like the Source has been visiting you whilst you were sleeping?

pearl The Consolation Of A Dream

Slow Start To The Week – week beg 25.11.1013

What greets this week is The Hanged Man – card XII

This card often strikes fear in the hearts of someone who has requested a reading, but there is no need. The man, though suspended by one leg with his head hanging down, does not look as though he is in pain, and it appears he has willingly allowed himself to be hung from The Tree of Life. Around his head is a halo, indicating a spiritual aspect to his choice.This card counsels us to not take any action at the moment, it is a time for ‘hanging about’ and seeing things from a different angle (try hanging upside down and the world looks totally different). It indicates that we are stuck and feeling the need to make a decision (which may even feel urgent for us) but that now is not the time to make that decision. Rather wait and see if the new angle we get on things from our different viewpoint leads us to a solution that we had not thought of. It is possible that we have overlooked something that will be more useful than our usual point of view for making us achieve what we want. If it does not feel right, do nothing and look at the situation from different points of view, it may be that the universe is sending us a solution we have overlooked so far.

What meets this week is the Hierophant – card V

This card represents organised and traditional belief systems Рthe Hierophant (also known as the High Priest or Pope) is in possession of the knowledge to lead to Spirit and is  charged with leading initiates along this way. This card means that now is not the time to start being innovative in our belief systems, but rather to adapt to the existing system Рleaving the status quo alone. This may be a time of some formal education, which will bear fruit later. The message the Hierophant sends us following on from the Hanged Man is that whilst we are hanging about it may be a good time to examine our belief system honestly, throw out those parts that no longer serve us, and ask ourselves how we operate as a result of our beliefs and how our beliefs affect our lives. It may be time to join a group or organization, though this may just be as simple as joining a gym, or as complex as committing to a structured system of spiritual teaching. It may also indicate that we will meet someone who will help us advance on our Path, (a guru if you like) who will lead us with integrity and without ulterior motives.

The week ends with The Magician – card I

The Magician has absolute power – as we have seen in previous readings. He is a sign that we have more power than we are aware of and that our potential is unlimited. With his multiple symbols of Eternity, and all the elements combined, the Magician indicates that we have at our disposal unlimited possibilities to manifest what we want – provided we are acting from our Power (presumably worked out by the spiritual searching the Hierophant counsels us to do). A situation will be presented to us (soon) that has all the inherent elements to allow the manifestation of our desires. The Magician asks us to be very clear about precisely what it is we want, and then to use all our gifts, skills and knowledge to set about manifesting that.

Overall then, a ¬†week that starts slowly – asking us to suspend ourself and our actions, take stock of our belief systems and how they affect what we are, ditch what does not suit us any more and then at the end of the week we shall be in a position of power and unlimited opportunity. The time for starting a ‘new’ project (or renewing focus and commitment to an existing project) is towards the end of the week – provided we have considered new angles, done our work on belief systems etc. it should be a fruitful beginning to something new.

Have a great week everyone.

hangedman Slow Start To The Week   week beg 25.11.1013


Battery Hen Or Free Range – The Slavery Remains

A short post, had a huge shift in thinking last night from which I am still reeling and which is requiring a lot of research to be used into writing what I think may turn into a short e-book (if I can pull it off).

Imagine for a moment that you are a battery hen. You have had all your natural impulses bred out of you, you have on-demand food and permanent light sources that totally confuse your natural being. You fight with other battery hens for the food that will only make you fatter faster so you can be slaughtered.

Then a few hens start to wake up to the reality of what will happen to them and refuse to go along with the conspicuous consumption that will make their deaths come faster. The farmer notices this. So he has a plan.

The next day he opens the door to the shed and the hens are put outside in a lovely big field. No longer are there mountains of artificial pellets of ‘food’, instead the hens are now free to run around the field and eat real grubs and the things that the hens would have eaten before battery farming became normal. What a great life. The hens are so grateful to the kind farmer. They are no longer slaves, they have a much better life, more space, more natural foods – wow, life is great.

Until of course the day comes that they will be rounded up and taken to the slaughter house to be dispatched.

Understand that as long as we let others control us, we remain like these hens. We may change the reality of the battery farm for a free range farm, but we shall still be owned and we shall still be led to the slaughter.


batteryhen Battery Hen Or Free Range   The Slavery Remains